Yet More Foolish Questions

Foolish Questions
Words by William Lee
Music by A. Baldwin Sloane

Now you’ve all heard the Foolish Questions, and you’ve no doubt wondered why
Some person will ask a Foolish Question, and expect a sensible reply
Like when you take your girl some candy, say maybe just after tea
The first thing she’ll ask is “Is that for me?”

Foolish Questions! You might as well reply
“No I bought this candy for your Ma or Pa!” or “It’s for some other guy!”
“I just thought you’d like to see it, Now I’m gonna take it away.”
Now wasn’t that a Foolish Question?
You’ll hear ‘em every day

Now then there’s this fellow, who is always hanging around the place
He watches you take your shaving brush, and start to lather up your face
And as you give the razor a preliminary wave This fellow will walk up to you and ask,
“Are you gonna shave?”

Foolish Questions! Your answer is, I hope,
“Nope! I’m not prepared for shavin’, I just like the taste of soap!”
I kinda like to take the shaving brush and paint myself up this way
Now wasn’t that a Foolish Question? You’ll hear ‘em everyday!

Now then there’s this fella who meets you on your way
And asks you why your all dressed up and listens while you say
That you just been returning from the funeral of poor old brother Ned
“Is Ned Dead?”

Foolish Questions! You hang your head and moan,
“No, he thought he’d have the funereal now and die later on.”
“Ned was always so original, he would’ve wanted it that way.”
Now wasn’t that a Foolish Question? You’ll hear ‘em everyday!

Now suppose the elevator guy should forget to close the door
And you should tumble down oh say forty-seven floors
And when you reach the bottom and you’re lying there inert
Some fool will come walking up and ask, “Are you hurt?”

Foolish Questions! Your dying words are,
“No! I was in an awful hurry and that elevator’s just too slow
“Usually saves a lot of time, You know, Coming down this way
Now wasn’t that a Foolish Question? You’ll hear ‘em everyday!

Now I was walking across the playground I had my ball and I had my net
I was thinkin’ about spikin’ and I was planning how to set
And this fellow walks up to me, he was kinda slim and kinda tall
He looks at what I was carrying and he asks, “Are you gonna play volleyball?”

Foolish Questions! I looked at him and laughed I said, “Nope! I’m goin’ huntin’
“I’m gonna catch me somethin’ wild!”
“I’m gonna wrap it in the net and beat it with the ball, I’ve caught a lot that way!”
Now wasn’t that a Foolish Question? You’ll hear ‘em everyday!
That was a Foolish Question? You’ll hear ‘em everyday!

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