Drink Well, Live Well

“To some it’s a six pack, to me it’s a support group.”

“Booze is the answer. I don’t remember the question.”

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin.

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.”

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin.

“The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far, but we will walk carefully.” – Russian Proverb.

“T’was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.” – W. C. Fields.

“And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning.” – Winston Churchill, replying to Bessie Braddock who told him he was drunk.

Q. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? A. One less drunk.

“Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.”

“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” – Dylan Thomas.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer

Drink beer ! It removes unsightly flab and wrinkles! (on the person you’re looking at, if you drink enough of it)

Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink ?

Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart.

“People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.” – Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.

“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.” – Joe E. Lewis.

“If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it.
This is my position, and I will not compromise!” – A Congressman’s response about his attitude toward whiskey.

“And God said, ‘Let there be vodka !’
And He saw that it was good.
Then God said, ‘Let there be light !’
And then He said, ‘Whoa – too much light’.”

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